Mobster Kingpin
- Mild = - Spicy = }} |-|Dark Matter= |-|Black Hole= |-|Shadow= |first = 247 |kingdom = Clown Kingdom |ego = FMK/Fiesta Mobster Kingpin DMMK/Dark Matter Mobster Kingpin BHMK/Black Hole Mobster Kingpin DMK/Demonhead Mobster Kingpin SMK/Shadow Mobster Kingpin MM/Madame Murel |live = Mobster Kingpin's office |like = Violence, Thugs |hate = Problem Sleuth }} The Mobster Kingpin is the antagonist of Problem Sleuth, although he can be controlled similarly and has the same types of stats as Problem Sleuth and the other protagonists. He is the ruler of the city, and his influence is seen in most aspects of Problem Sleuth. He is the one responsible for locking up the protagonists from the real world which is behind the Megaton Door, presumably, as he starts out with the key to it in the office. Mobster Kingpin is a gruff lout who doesn't take anything from nobody, see? He rules his city with an iron fist. While Mobster Kingpin is in charge of this city, oddly enough he has to overcome the same trials as Team Sleuth, such as having to find a way out of his office, (which appears to be in the lower deck of the Chicago Overcoat) and passing a Quest of Spirit. He has no qualms about making passes at Nervous Broad and no sympathy for Hysterical Dame if she doesn't do what he says. His stats vary, as he has the ability to max out any stat randomly by using his Battle Technique: RUNNING NUMBERS. What makes Mobster Kingpin a real threat is his very powerful Combat Operandi and Battle techniques that not only nullify but counter attacks coming to him. While MK's stats are impressive, he has several known flaws. The two weaknesses he has shown are his Blood Sugar and Emotions. The higher these gauges rise, the more damage MK takes and the faster he is beaten. If these are not high enough, Mobster Kingpin is invulnerable to nearly all attacks and when struck makes a highly odd "Fwank" sound. Biography MK eventually gains access to the very manly Gravity Brassier, and abuses it to create himself into several new forms. He first sucks in Fiesta Ace Dick to become Fiesta Mobster Kingpin, then by abusing the brassier he becomes Dark Matter Mobster Kingpin. After deciding that he still wasn't man enough, he tugged on the woman's undergarment so hard that he became Black Hole Mobster Kingpin. Through some obvious and very easy to understand gameplay mechanics, Team Sleuth uses his gravitational powers against him, allowing them to destroy DMK and to finally push DMMK out of the brassier. Since wearing corsets, bodices and brassieres connect your body to another location, MK was stuck in Mount Saint Lardass, and when he was pushed through, the volcano erupted. The force of the eruption was so great that it launched MK to the other side of the imaginary universe, impaling him on the Ham Needle. Fiesta Mobster Kingpin Fiesta Mobster Kingpin was briefly created after Mobster Kingpin used Extortion on FAD, who was attempting to use Belly of the Whale to dispose of a nearly immovable MK. The Mexican Spiciness caused MK to gain massive strength alongside a substantial increase in his base mass and volume. He also gained the irritated texture on his head and turned red as well. In this form FMK was too large to fit through the door, so he tightened the strings on his Gravity Brassier to decrease his volume. Having such a high mass at such a small size caused FMK to crash through the floor of the Pantry and fall into MM's Studio. Before engaging the Gentlemen in fisticuffs, FMK fiddled with his Gravity Brassier even more, increasing his mass and transforming into Dark Matter Mobster Kingpin. Dark Matter Mobster Kingpin Dark Matter Mobster Kingpin is one of Mobster Kingpin's mighty forms. During his flight from Fiesta Ace Dick, MK stole Madame Murel's Gravity Brassier. Abuse of the Gravity Brassier increased MK's density by a ludicrous amount, causing him to turn purple and fall through the floor of MM's Dollhouse. Unfortunately, he did not know his limits, and after being deposited in the game of Life and tightening the brassier even more, he became so insanely dense as to become Black Hole Mobster Kingpin. Black Hole Mobster Kingpin Black Hole Mobster Kingpin is the resulting form of Mobster Kingpin after tightening his Gravity Brassier to such a degree that his mass increased several orders of magnitude, and his volume reduced sufficiently to allow him to fall entirely within his own Schwarzschild radius. Thanks to the laws of physics, in this form he appears to have become entirely invulnerable, as his mass has become too great to move by conventional means, and any attacks would simply be swallowed into his event horizon. When Black Hole Mobster Kingpin pulled his drawstrings yet tighter, his mass multiplied by the factor of a googol, causing him to become Taking his mass as roughly equal to Earth's, his event horizon is roughly the size of a peanut, putting into perspective the scale of the Game of Life. Ironically, the very laws of physics which protect him in this form may also offer a possible weakness for this form of Mobster Kingpin. The equation defining the size of the Schwarzschild radius is r_s = \frac{2Gm}{c^2} relying on the speed of light c. If the speed of light were to be increased, perhaps via some weird puzzle shit to get the electric current to the giant fan faster, Black Hole Mobster Kingpin would be once again vulnerable for a time, since he would no longer fall under his (now much smaller) Schwarzschild radius. However, seeing as BHMK is now more massive than the entire universe, it seems much more likely that the size of the universe will become smaller, rather than the speed of light becoming larger. Black Hole Mobster Kingpin continually pulls on the Gravity Brassier's drawstrings until his mass is a whopping googolplex. This causes him to become an ultra-massive black hole (which might not even be a real term). Mobster Kingpin was pushed out of the brassier when the Moon gently landed on his hat as he erupted out of Mount Saint Lardass and landed on the Ham Needle, killing him once and for all and destroying the black hole. Shadow Mobster Kingpin Shadow Mobster Kingpin only appears on the Extra pages. Spades Slick wants Mobster Kingpin to join the Midnight Crew in the fit of Problem Sleuth showing his Gay Pornography, however Spades Slick feels like his appearance isn't good enough. Spades Slick uses his shadow based magic to turn him into Shadow Mobster Kingpin. Battle Techniques *Extortion: Nullifies Belly of the Whale, and in turn sucks them in instead. *Running Numbers: Switches stats around in hopes of having things in his favor. *Insulin Shot: Finally get rid of that Diabetes. *Summon Wilford Brimley: Summon the inner rage of an old man with pronunciation issues. *Type 2 Diabeat-Down: Forged with the power of Wilford Brimley, deal impressive physical damage in the form of a combo attack. *Hooched-up Bootlegger: Use sugar-free candy liquor to achieve demon status. Note MK holds the Megaton Key, which leads to the Real World next to Team Sleuth's offices. Leaving to go and Sleuth the Real World is the goal of the game. While it is true that only the strongest man on earth can wield the key, it does not indicate exactly how heavy it is. MK was the strongest man on earth when he was wielding the key, so it makes sense that he can wield it. Due to the troublesome nature of specific items and weapons, it's most likely the case that when Ace Dick became the strongest man on earth, (Therefore MK could no longer wield it) that the key was in its other state, the Brass Knuckles. Only when MK finally dropped the item did it turn into the key. This is all so simple you even wondered why you bothered to ask. Category:Problem Sleuth characters